Almost sane...

5:25pm: You know today I freaked out because I was splashed by hott grease at work. It sucked, I was so scared I almost cried, but Now I'm cool, I'm on the downlow, slow-y rolly pole-y. Meow I recovered, But I still hate that machine.

7:14pm:

Forgotten Confidence

By Lynette Lynn Carson

I’m wracked with self doubt,

I can’t even tell in from out,

Confidence escapes me,

And you all see just what you want to see.

Tears streak my face,

I can’t keep up this pace,

Hidden faults behind a smile,

Will only fool everyone for a small while.

Hatred stained with grace,

I’m a nut case!

Laughter rings in my ears,

I’m nothing but a mess of fears.

I don’t have anyone around,

Crying and hiding the sounds,

Be-rating myself,

I hate being like myself.

I don’t know what’s real,

I barely know how to feel,

Heart stained with darkness,

I will never miss this.

My mind is gone,

I’m nothing more than a pawn,

I hate being me,

My self hatred is hidden behind a mask of glee!

You’ll never find out what the matter is with me!

Add in the tears that never cease to be,

And this mask is for an eternity until it cracks,

Until then, it will never be lax.

7:03pm: Job

You know it's really wrong if someone beats their brother out of a job, right? Especially if this job is at a fast food restraunt doing something that is worthy of minimum wage.

Oh god my life sucks.

I. WORK. AT. BURGER. KING.

Oh well I get paid for doing something totally random. hopefully I don't have to clean the men's bathroom because that place is totally nasty. Also thank god people love me, when my friends hate my guts.

meow~ lynette

9:46pm: Charming the Hated
( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

12:04am: writing prompt-use as you wish. Just name me as the promptor
ya know, you don't always have to do what they expect of you. I don't that's why I'm happy right now. 

yea but you're the outcast, someone no body likes with the exception of your random freaks...

At least I know that they're true friends rather than the sad display you have. 

still they will hold a place in society that you yourself would never dream of holding. 

That's only because I don't want anything to do with that...

1:25am: Obsessed...

I. Am. Obsessed. I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THESE TWO PAIRINGS!!!

RaitoxL (Or in english LightxL) From Death Note.

Or...

KaidouxShinuichi (Or something like that.) From Detective Conen

(The second one is all Shiro-sensei's fault...) I mean seriously Don't EVER read a shonen Manga, if you are currently obsessed with Yaoi. I mean seriously my School Notebooks are ALL. COVERED. IN. THE. PHRASE. "VIVA LA YAOI."

(And I think one of them has a bunch of my favorite pairings on the inside cover...) Forget that.

Anyways, I started on the first pairing after reading the first three volumes of Death Note. My Fangirl mind started to act up, and Vola, I'm hooked to LightxL. Now whenever I read Death Note my fangirl tendacies kick in, and I have to put the manga down, before I go and write a fanfiction about it. +Sigh+ What am I to do about that one?

The second, I was reading "Steal his heart," or something like that, on Shiro-sensei's website. So I got hooked, and tried to find more stories on FF.NET. Unfrotuneally, nobody really writes them. When I realized that in my sleepy set mind I went back to Shiro-sensei's website and I went to Novel. I found a lemon. I was happy, and still obsessed. but that lemony one-shot cured my obsession for like three hours (A new record, mind you, that is the longest I have been cured of any of my obsessions. Like SasuNaru. Or YukimoraxSasuke. I'm weird and I like it.) Ignore that. Anyways, after that helped. I kinda started to serch for a new fanfiction site where I can read my pairings in peace. Didn't happen. Nobody writes it. And that makes me a sad Panda.

Or Ninja. Either way it makes me sad.

Music- (other than the soundtrack)

"1985"- Bowling for soup.
"Out Tonight"- Rent Soundtrack
"Faint" Linkin Park
"Honey there's a reason these tables are numbered you just haven't thought of it yet."- Panic! At the disco.

I admit that I got side tracked like twice, -Coughcough- ninetimes -coughcough-

12:00am: New Fiction: How to be normal (Tips from the Un-normal)

I'm going to do a fic with my 5 friends. They will help me with the chapters, and stuff. Here's the Email I sent them:

All right listen up. You are all being targeted for my new story. This ones an "ORIGINAL FICTION." It will consits of (i'm only naming three,):

-How to be Normal Tips. (While the characters are doing the complete opposites at sometimes.)

-What  to look at when you are trying to look Hetro. (Straight) <Especially when your cousin's gay and you are at your family reunion, with your boyfriend of like two years and your completely crazy familyy members who seem to like normallicy which is why you are hiding in the woods with your black sheep like cousin(Who is me), and of course your lover who by all means is far from their side of normalicy.

-Why you shouldn't piss people off, especially if their quiet...

10:58pm: two sides.

There are two sides to every coin, right?

Which means that every one has two personalities, the one they broadcast to the world and the one they keep secret, only to be shown in private, or with really trusted friends. but me, I have 7. Each of these Quotes help define each one of my personalities.

"Each one of us are different. We all have different goals and dreams."

That is me. Purely me. I have nothing to hide or help please someone.

"Our tears only serve to make us stronger."

That's one of my own personalities. She's always sad, but speaks the truth. Sometimes yells it.

"Our hearts may never become one... will they? It's because our past is twisted with lies and betrayal."

This is the most venerable of myself. She gets hurt often. So she needs protection from the world who wishes to hate her.

"Being happy, helps to ease the pain of hatred."

This is the public me. She stays happy even if she's hurt by words or someone. She stays happy, never faltering in her step. always, always laughing, even if it hurts her.

"I can't take it anymore! Make everything STOP!! I hate you more than anything!"

This is the side of me that comes out when I cry. I start having suicidal thoughts, and I even once planned out my
funeral. I have my emo moments too. ///.T Guess my friends don't know about that.

"I hate this life, I don't deserve anything I have. everyone will just leave me. I won't ever be loved."

This is another one of my emo like personalities, she doesn't believe that love will happen to her. She believes in love but she KNOWS it won't happen to her. She feels as if she doesn't deserve anything. But then again who does? Especially in our socialty.

"I am hated. So I hate everyone and everything. Nothing matters, human beings are just toys. They are just toys, right?"

This is the last part of myself. She is the only one I don't understand. I am afraid of her. I think that she is the one that if I were to kill someone, she would be the one to pull the trigger.

These are the people that I know of. They are unique. Like me. We each have different like each on of us humans. And yet these are to only ones that I know of. I hope that one day, we will be able to become a person that someone could love. Oh well, here's to hopeing...

~Kytesama

6:33pm: Waiting...
When I was younger I used to wait. I waited for a lot of things and most of witch I never got. Happiness, My parents back together, and God's love were the most important even though I never got the last two, I learned that happiness is what you make of it. It's what you wish it to be. I stopped waiting and then I started to do...

Anyways, I learned to look at the glass half-full rather than half-empty. I saw what I have rather than what I didn't. I'm still quite bitter about somethings. But I can't be happy all the time, ne?